What? You aren’t getting stir crazy? Cabin fever isn’t setting in yet? You must either be one of my friends in Bangkok keeping tabs on me or else you own a four-wheel drive. Me, I am just glad I have not yet been cooked and eaten by my Lovely Wife. We are starting to feel locked down, like the end may be near, and have openly admitted to kind of understanding the Donner Party a little better.

Here are 10 ways to keep the cabin fever from setting in:

1. Turn the TV back on and watch an eighth hour of Law & Order.
2. Juice? Yeast? Hook it up and make some old-skool wine.
3. Pretend your roommate/spouse/stranded friend from out of town doesn’t look like a giant strip of bacon.
4. Come shovel out my car. Seriously – this will keep you busy, and it’s fun!
5. Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight.
6. That movie you picked up from the Red Box on the way home last night isn’t going to watch itself.
7. Too dark to go sledding and too dark for a snowball fight, so try running through the snow like Rocky did in Rocky IV.
8. Read a book. Or maybe enjoy some porn you picked up after church last Sunday.
9. Call the ASPCA about the camel your neighbor George has billeted down in Mount Vernon.
10. Youtube. It solves all boredom problems.

What are you doing to distract yourself from cabin fever and thus cannibalism?