‘half-naked stampede’
courtesy of ‘philliefan99’

So there Tom and I were, in our car, a couple cars back from the light at Rhode Island Ave. & Brentwood Ave. NE, waiting to cross onto 13th. We see this guy (late teens, maybe) run across the intersection. He was looking over his shoulder, looking half-entertained, half-scared.

And then we saw who he was running from. A woman who looked to be in her early 20s came sprinting after him, clutching a t-shirt in her hand, looking pissed. But that’s not what we noticed about her first. What we noticed was that she was stark naked. Not a stitch. Sprinting, like a cross-country runner, barefoot down the sidewalk and gaining on the guy. Let’s just say I wanted to offer her a, um, restrictive garment, because it kind of hurt to watch.

And Tom and I wondered… what was the sequence of events that led to that moment? It seems to me like there are a finite number of scenarios that lead to a completely naked woman chasing a completely clothed man down the street in broad daylight. Your theories, DC? (The more outlandish the better.)

Tiffany Bridge

Tiffany Baxendell Bridge is an Internet enthusiast and an incurable smartass. When not heckling the neighborhood political scene on Twitter, she can be found goofing off with her ukulele, Bollywood dancing, or obsessing about cult TV. She is That Woman With the Baby In the Bar.

Tiffany lives in Brookland with her husband Tom, son Charlie, and two high-maintenance cats. Read why Tiffany loves DC.