‘giant fist’
courtesy of ‘philliefan99’

Because he’s not a cuddler, he’s a rapist. MPD 2nd District Commander Matt Klein said it best: “You cuddle someone you love. We’re looking for a criminal.”  There was another incident this morning, this one involving digital penetration, which is considerably more than anything that could be flippantly called “cuddling.”

So we need to call this creep what he is. I propose, “Georgetown Come-into-my-house-and-I’ll-beat-you-with-a-baseball-bat.” Or maybe “Georgetown Any-part-of-you-that-touches-me-you’re-not-getting-back.”

But failing all that, I’d settle for the “Georgetown Rapist.”

Tiffany Bridge

Tiffany Baxendell Bridge is an Internet enthusiast and an incurable smartass. When not heckling the neighborhood political scene on Twitter, she can be found goofing off with her ukulele, Bollywood dancing, or obsessing about cult TV. She is That Woman With the Baby In the Bar.

Tiffany lives in Brookland with her husband Tom, son Charlie, and two high-maintenance cats. Read why Tiffany loves DC.