The “news” “broke” late this morning that Tareq Salahi was quite upset with the Warren County, Virginia Sheriff’s office because he felt that they were not taking his claim that his reality TV “star” wife Michaele had been coerced against her will. Coerced to do what, exactly, remains unclear.

I’m certain that this has nothing to do with the upcoming auction of the winery.

I’m doubly certain that in no way does this story have parallels to Bunny Lebowski, The Boy Who Cried Wolf, or The Ransom of Red Chief, no matter what you say about the rug tying the whole story together.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to find my lawn chair, a bucket of popcorn, and a map to the Sheriff’s office.

Update: Yeah, she’s fine. She ran off with the guitarist from Journey. Sorry Tareq. Don’t stop believing.

Tom Bridge

I live and work in the District of Columbia. I write at We Love DC, a blog I helped start, I work at Technolutionary, a company I helped start, and I’m happy doing both. I enjoy watching baseball, cooking, and gardening. I grow a mean pepper, keep a clean scorebook, and wash the dishes when I’m done. Read Why I Love DC.