Courtesy US Customs and Border Patrol, via NBCWashington

So there you are, minding your own business, in line at customs, when a big ol’ German Shepherd shows an unnatural interest in your legs. Well, maybe that’s because you’ve got nearly a pound and a half of heroin strapped to them. You are soooo busted.

Apparently drug mule Anna Sprauve didn’t get the memo that smuggling drugs into the country isn’t that easy; if it were, people wouldn’t feel the need to carry drugs in, ahem, more intimate places.

Thanks to NBCWashington for providing me with the phrase “heroin legwarmers” to enjoy throughout the day.

Tiffany Bridge

Tiffany Baxendell Bridge is an Internet enthusiast and an incurable smartass. When not heckling the neighborhood political scene on Twitter, she can be found goofing off with her ukulele, Bollywood dancing, or obsessing about cult TV. She is That Woman With the Baby In the Bar.

Tiffany lives in Brookland with her husband Tom, son Charlie, and two high-maintenance cats. Read why Tiffany loves DC.