Never underestimate yuppies who love kickball. The Anti-Yuppie Kickball Guerilla Front has suffered a tremendous setback:
Last night, October 5th, after what was thought to be a secret meeting for new members of the front at Chief Ike’s, Inquisitor K (forgot to ask if I can just put his real name now) was arrested by US Marshalls. He says they were watching the meeting the entire time and when leaving they rushed him but he got away and was chased into Rock Creek where he was tackled, cuffed and nearly drowned. We went down to court this morning where he was arraigned on many charges including advocating terrorism (or something like that), providing material support to a terrorist organization, aggravated assault (for a botched ball-napping in July where a kickball player who gave chase was supposedly knocked out with brass knuckles), resisting arrest, 3 counts of theft, another assault charge, and he apparently faces extradition to Maryland and New Jersey for warrants related to narcotics trafficking. One of the marshalls told him they penetrated the private portion of the website in August where they gained access to the video archive and other pretty damning stuff. We were definitely sold out from the inside and we in the front all know who did this. A warrant was also served at his house in Mt. Pleasant last night where computers and other stuff were taken including all of the ball-knapped balls. I suggested we pull the whole website down but he said that he would “never let those bastards subjugate” him and so the link to the site remains below. He seems confident as he has been in jail several times and isn’t worried. He says they are only after him and so the “Rally For Justice” is still on as a fundraiser. Bond was set at $50,000! I’ll try and keep news on the case as updated as possible. We are all a little shell-shocked right now and our thoughts and prayers go to our great friend and leader.
While we cannot verify that the Department of Justice is treating the AYKGF as a terrorist organization, nor can we verify the capitivty of Inquisitor K, we certainly feel for our contacts in the AYKGF.
Or we would, when we stopped laughing at the insanity of it all.
Folks, Kickball’s just a freakin’ playground game, and if you get too caught up in the love or hate of the same, you’re only going to end up like Inquisitor K: belonging to the prisoner with the most cigarettes.
This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs
I live and work in the District of Columbia. I write at We Love DC, a blog I helped start, I work at Technolutionary, a company I helped start, and I’m happy doing both. I enjoy watching baseball, cooking, and gardening. I grow a mean pepper, keep a clean scorebook, and wash the dishes when I’m done. Read Why I Love DC.
