By 
(Comedy in DC will be back in two weeks. Tiff‘s out west, so I’m stepping in with something a little different…)
Let’s face it: we’ve all perused the various online job postings recently, looking for that ‘perfect’ position we all secretly crave. But sometimes, when you go to interview or after you land that dream job, it’s not what you expect. Looking back, you wonder how the position you’re in could even possibly match the posted description that initially caught your eye.
Wonder no more. I have compiled a list that describes what those common terms you see in most want ads really mean. And I’m sharing them with all of you today, because job seekers need all the help they can get deciphering such descriptions like:
An up-and-coming software company with an innovative profit-sharing plan has an immediate opening for a [insert technobabble IT title here]. We offer great benefits to a self-motivated individual in this exciting and professional work environment.
Qualified applicants will be deadline-oriented with an eye for detail and good communication skills and the ability to handle a heavy workload. Problem-solving skills a must. Some overtime required. Send resumes to noaddress@notarealsite.com. No phone calls please.