I post about this altogether too much, but here we go again: epic lines to enter the Foggy Bottom Metro Station because of a rush hour escalator bottleneck. Of three escalators, one is closed for repairs till Nov 29th, one seems to be up-only, and the remaining nonworking one is split between down and up lanes. The result: a forked pair of lines stretching down the block in either direction.
I skipped the scene altogether and walked to Farragut West instead.
Metro Man passed through Metro Center in the middle of the afternoon recently and was greeted with the infamous Metro Zamboni, which polishes platforms and pushes people aside at the most inconvenient times.
Why does Metro do maintenance like this in the middle of the day or at rush hour when there are tourists and travelers on the platform, risking people slipping or even falling (or getting pushed off the platform) onto the tracks? It’s incredibly misanthropic, more so when riders are being yelled at to get out of the way of a cleaning machine that should be doing this work after hours.
Strike one: Calling 911 to complain about I-95 traffic. Strike two: Cursing out the operator when he asks why you’re calling 911 to complain about traffic. Strike three: Voice mail greeting saying you’re working on a “very important family political project.” Joe The McCain, you’re out.
Heading home from Union Station, I unwittingly fell in step with a group of security personnel, only noticing when their leader addressed them, “She’s over there,” gesturing towards the Postal Museum Building, where an Amtrak motorized cart was negotiating a crosswalk. On board, an older woman accompanied two younger girls. My eyes met briefly with those of the long-haired girl, and I nodded noncommittally before walking on, not recognizing her. She looked very worried.
Suddenly a small gang of wild paparazzi appeared as if out of nowhere, a boorish, swarming mob of shoving, yelling, fanny-packed photographers, circling the cart and clicking away. The girls covered their faces, one of the paps yelled mockingly, “I love you, Lindsay!”, and the security team pushed him and the others aside. It took me about another minute to realize which “Lindsay” the photographer had been yelling at.
So I guess I have a nodding acquaintance with Lindsay Lohan now. I got some quick fuzzy video (above) as the cart retreated towards Union Station with the paparazzi in tow, but she’s barely visible. I felt so bad for her being chased by that repulsive swarm that I decided not to go after her for clearer video. No use turning into one of them.
Judging by the graffiti on this Metro train ad for Global Impact, there’s an Orange Line rider somewhere out there who (1) hates African aid groups because of secret genocide conspiracies, (2) has a Sharpie, and (3) is unsure of the spelling of “holocaust.”
Someone must have partied especially hard in the Gallery Place/Chinatown Metro elevator on Saturday afternoon, as evidenced by this bra left on the trash-strewn elevator floor. I’d have picked it up (hey, free bra) but it was a bit damp and muddy, and not my cup size anyway.
“Couth, courtesy, and common sense” — iMetro’s three personal values whose deficiency makes Metro that much more unpleasant to ride. (Strictly speaking, though, “couth” is more adjective than noun, generally used as ironic foil to “uncouth.”) He follows up with a few photos demonstrating said unpleasantness. I’m especially WTF-ing at the jacket on the other side of the tracks and the rocks on the glass canopy. And next time I see someone doing chin-ups on the overhead bars I might just pull down his pants. Or at least tut-tut sternly.