Category Archives: WTF?!

Sports Fix, The Features, WTF?!
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Sports Fix: We Love Tennis Edition

Photo courtesy of
”
courtesy of ‘Chris Rief aka Spodie Odie’

Kastles
Record: 6-5
Last Two Weeks: 6-5
Place: 2nd in the East, one match back of New York Sportimes

If it’s July in Washington, that means Kastles Tennis.  The Kastles may be the smallest of DC’s pro sports teams, but they’re definitely one of the most fun.  Their season is delightfully fast-paced, starting just after July 4th, and running through this week, the pop-up tennis league, and the stadium over at 11th & H St NW, make for a wonderful outing. The Kastles are solid once again this year, with Venus Williams and Leander Paes returning to helm the squad in DC. Coach Murphy Jensen, who is every bit as crazy as he appears, is also back for a second season.

The Kastles started the season very strong, but have hit the skids in their last few matches, dropping matches to Boston, New York and Kansas City in the last few days. They’ve still got a shot at the playoffs, but will need some strong showing against Eastern division foes New York and Boston this week. Tuesday night former enfant térrible John McEnroe is in DC with the New York Sportimes (worst franchise name ever? check.) and then Anna Kournikova and the St. Louis Aces are here on Wednesday to finish out the home season. There’s the hopes of a second straight championship title for the Kastles, but they’ll need to come up big this week. Tickets are still available, and as much as it pains me to say this, the Kastles are Washington’s only championship pro sports team right now, so they could use a hand. Besides, Anna Kournikova on Wednesday, fellas. Continue reading →

Talkin' Transit, The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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Heat Kinks on Metro to Slow Evening Commute

Photo courtesy of
‘yup, it’s hot out’
courtesy of ‘philliefan99’

It sucks out there. It’s fit for neither man nor beast, and your evening commute is going to suck. Now, Metro has come out and said that it’s going to suck a bit more. There are some heat kinks in the rails, which Metro explains as: “Heat kinks form when overheated tracks expand and cannot be constrained by the cross ties and ballast support the track.”

The heat kink that we know about so far is on the Red Line between the New York Avenue & Rhode Island Avenue stations and is slowing trains between the two stations in an attempt to avoid calamity. Please expect the Red Line to suck more than usual, and I wouldn’t bet on any comfort on those trains at all. If you can, folks, a little extra deodorant wouldn’t kill you under these conditions.

News, The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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Citing Safety Concerns, Metro Pulls All 4000-Series Cars

Photo courtesy of
‘Metro couple’
courtesy of ‘logan.brown’
At just four minutes to midnight on July 4th, WMATA announced that all of the 4000-series cars on Metrorail were being removed for safety concerns related to their door motors. The timing, while awkward, may prove advantageous given the lower than average ridership week and the federal holiday. The 4000-series cars apparently have an issue with their door motors that can occasionally cause a door to open while the train is moving. Each of the 100 cars will need to have all of its door motors removed, inspected, cleaned, and replaced before the cars can come back into service. It’s expected to be a process that will take 2-3 weeks. Early next week is expected to be the worst of the situation, as cars will be coming back online in pairs as the work is completed.

The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Phillie Phanatic Being Sued By A 75-Year-Old Woman

Photo courtesy of
‘Phillie Fan’
courtesy of ‘terren in Virginia’

It’s not exactly DC news, but Nats fans can collectively heckle under their breathe over the furry, green, and beer-bellied Phillies mascot for being sued by a 75-year woman for climbing through the stands and injuring her knees at a 2008 Reading Phillies minor league game, Philadelphia Daily News reports.

Grace Crass of Wernersville, Pa. was at the Reading game with her church group at the time of the incident. The Phanatic then proceeded to climb through the stands and onto her legs paining Crass to the point of yelling at the mascot due to the pain, according to her attorney John Speicher.

“It set off the arthritic process, and in fairly short order she needed a lot of medical treatment,” Speicher told Philadelphia Daily News. “Ultimately, she needed to get knee replacements.”

Crass is seeking $50,000 in damages from several major players from within the Phillies organization. They include: the Phanatic himself Mr. Tom Burgoyne, the Philadelphia Phillies, and the Reading Phillies.

This isn’t the first time the Phillie Phanatic, introduced in 1977, was the center of a civil suit. A study published by Cardozo Law Review written by sports law professor Bob Jarvis said that the Phanatic “hold the dubious record as the most-sued mascot in the majors.”

Continue reading →

The Daily Feed, The District, WTF?!
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Scenes from the City: The Naked Runner

Photo courtesy of
‘half-naked stampede’
courtesy of ‘philliefan99’

So there Tom and I were, in our car, a couple cars back from the light at Rhode Island Ave. & Brentwood Ave. NE, waiting to cross onto 13th. We see this guy (late teens, maybe) run across the intersection. He was looking over his shoulder, looking half-entertained, half-scared.

And then we saw who he was running from. A woman who looked to be in her early 20s came sprinting after him, clutching a t-shirt in her hand, looking pissed. But that’s not what we noticed about her first. What we noticed was that she was stark naked. Not a stitch. Sprinting, like a cross-country runner, barefoot down the sidewalk and gaining on the guy. Let’s just say I wanted to offer her a, um, restrictive garment, because it kind of hurt to watch.

And Tom and I wondered… what was the sequence of events that led to that moment? It seems to me like there are a finite number of scenarios that lead to a completely naked woman chasing a completely clothed man down the street in broad daylight. Your theories, DC? (The more outlandish the better.)

News, The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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Bob McDonnell, in Richmond, Wants Control of WMATA

Photo courtesy of
‘A Simple Ass’
courtesy of ‘Orin Zebest’

Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell, who lives in Richmond, 97.4 miles from the closest Metro station, wants two seats on the WMATA board (one voting, one alternate) or else he’s taking Virginia’s contribution to WMATA and going home. He’s upset that (Democrat) part time local politicians are taking up the seats that he’d like to fill with (Republican) transit “experts” that are based out of Richmond.

Call his bluff.

News, The Daily Feed, Tourism, WTF?!
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Senator Webb Hates Tourbuses, Too

Photo courtesy of
‘tour-bus-parking’
courtesy of ‘RaVerXeNo2010’

Anyone who’s driven Independence or Constitution in the summertime knows the tour-bus hatred. Or 15th Street. Or Virginia Ave. Or 17th Street. Or really anywhere near the tourist areas of DC. These bastards park their motorcoaches whereever they darned-well please, and it’s a real pain in the ass to get anywhere when they’re here. My favorite is 15th Street at 3:30pm, where you can sometimes have buses triple parked, blocking all southbound traffic. Senator Jim Webb (D-VA) feels your pain, and wrote a letter to Mayor Fenty to request a fix. Here’s his list of questions: Continue reading →

Sports Fix, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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The Haynesworth Situation

Photo courtesy of
‘00207256’
courtesy of ‘Keith Allison’

The word came last night, from his agent, Albert Haynesworth has no interest in playing for the Redskins. He has demanded a trade from the franchise, citing the change in management, and disagreements that have followed. When signed, there was lots to say about Haynesworth and his $100M contract, and it wasn’t exactly all good. To see a player making literal millions of dollars per season throw a temper tantrum because of a change in the front of the office? It’s shameful.

As it stands, the Redskins have paid this joker $55,000 per snap for his “work” last season, which saw Haynesworth on the sidelines more than he was on the field, due to injury. My thought? Trade him to Detroit and let him languish with those losers for a while. But I may just be a bitter and vindictive sports fan today.

Haynesworth likely faces steep fines for missing Mini Camp that started this morning, as well as other team-mandated activities that he has refused to attend since his pathetic display of selfishness began.   Here’s hoping the Skins can levy some pain out on Haynesworth for his insouciance.

The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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Jeter Says to Rider: “Apparently You Believe in Slavery”

Photo courtesy of
‘mute’
courtesy of ‘woodleywonderworks’

UnsuckDCMetro posted an alleged email conversation between a concerned Metro rider and Amalgamated Transit Union Local 689 boss Jackie Jeter that, frankly, makes the union look even more like…well, a-holes. The conversation was in regards to the fact that two union bus drivers got their jobs back – with pay – despite some serious issues.

Take a gander at how this labor organization handles itself when a legitimate complaint is brought forward. Apparently, Ms. Jeter thinks if you believe certain union members are “unfit to perform the basic duties required of a Metrobus driver,” you are, in fact, a proponent of slavery.

Seriously, Ms. Jeter? Do us ALL a favor and STFU. You’re only making your union brethren look even worse than WMATA. And that’s pretty hard to do.

The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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And the Wheels of the Bus Go…

Photo courtesy of
”
courtesy of ‘Chris Rief aka Spodie Odie’

Let’s pretend you’re a bus driver. You get involved in a deadly collision between your bus and a taxi where one of the taxi passengers later dies from injuries. Your bosses believe you ran a red light, causing the accident, and fired you from your job. Sounds reasonable, right?

Or, let’s say you’re still a bus driver, but you decide to take offense at someone dressed as McGruff the Crime Dog and slug him; the costumed canine turns out to be a cop. You’re fired from your job, arrested and found guilty of simple assault.

Think you deserve to get your job back in either case?

Apparently Amalgamated Transit Union Local 689 thinks so. Both men won their jobs back after an arbitration hearing between the union and WMATA sided in favor of the union. The McGruff hater is due back behind the wheel of a bus after some “retraining.” The driver involved in the fatal accident is currently sitting at home, awaiting a decision by WMATA on where to place him. Both drivers were awarded their jobs plus full back pay, something the union considers a victory.

The reinstatement of a bus driver who caused a fatal accident (and I’ll note that he had not been cited or charged with anything; Metro determined from their own investigation that the driver ran a red light) is most disturbing. “We’re very concerned,” said Metro spokeswoman Lisa Farbstein to the Examiner‘s Kytja Weir. “We feel strongly that termination was the right decision.” WMATA settled out of court with the widow of the victim, after she sued the agency for $100 million.

Union president Jackie Jeter said of the hearings that “[t]he authority does not have authority to do whatever they want to do.”

Words? Fail.

The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Texting Bus Driver Files Grievance

Photo courtesy of
‘what else is new?’
courtesy of ‘philliefan99’

Oh this one has me a little bit rage-y, so you’ll forgive me if I’m a little intemperate with my words, and a bit profane. How the hell do you think that when caught texting while driving a metrobus, even after the “no tolerance” policy has gone into effect, that you could possibly try to get your job back? The driver has filed a grievance with his union and Metro and is insinuating that he should not have been fired for breaking DC law.

I mean, I know that unions exist to protect workers from dangerous working conditions, but in this particular case, they seem to be here to protect the incompetent and the criminally stupid. Ah, the ATU 689, standing up for asshats that text while driving a bus full of people up the busy streets of the city.

Gotta love it.

News, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Council Re-Funds Streetcars

Photo courtesy of
‘infrastructure infrastructure’
courtesy of ‘philliefan99’

The news that the City Council was thinking of de-funding the streetcar program’s capital investments this morning sent shockwaves throughout the city. The Council, in their morning meeting, de-funded the effort to the tune of $42M, reserving only $5M left for future planning. The shock was immediate, explosive, and frustrating. Phones rang off the hook in the council offices shortly thereafter with angry constituents demanding that the council reverse their decision.

This afternoon, Chairman Gray backpedaled so fast you’d think he was cycling backwards in the Tour de France. After the lunch break, in their legislative session, the Council reinstated $10M in immediate capital funding, and set aside $37M in reserved funding once the Mayor has a further plan.

The total time between the cutting of the streetcar funding and its restoration through new budget amendments was less than four hours. The response was overwhelming, and is an amazing example of the power of the constituent to influence, through emails, phone calls, tweets, blogs and other rapid-fire media, the workings of the council. Good job, everyone.

News, The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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Red Line Pre-dawn Derailment Snarls Metro

Photo courtesy of
‘Metro Spirits’
courtesy of ‘pnzr242’

The pre-dawn derailment of a WMATA construction unit, called a Petibone, has snarled the Red Line for the moment. The unit, which derailed in the direction of Glenmont, near Union Station, necessitated the single-tracking of Red Line trains between Judiciary Square and New York Avenue. Delays are currently reported at approximately one hour on the Red Line. While the unit was re-railed by 6am, the damage to the track near Union Station has just been repaired, and dual-tracking has just recommenced.

Metro says that service has “returned to normal,” but that seems like an odd farce in the recognition that nothing about Metro has been remotely normal since last June’s crash. Trains remain at slower speeds with no return to ATO in sight, minor derailments continue on a semi-regular basis, and Metro’s not talking about the improvements they’re trying to make. Some of that, sure, is their desire to keep quiet until NTSB completes their review, but the silence isn’t reassuring. Hope your commute wasn’t awful.

News, The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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Find Your New Fare

Photo courtesy of
‘Arithmetic machine’
courtesy of ‘marc kjerland’

If the proposed changes to the WMATA fare structure take effect as planned, how much more are you looking at in daily fees to ride the rails on our aging transport system? The Post’s Kat Downs and Jacqueline Kazil have built a calculator to help you figure it out.  I ran a few of my favorite routes through the calculator, and here’s what I found:

Van Dorn Street to Farragut West (my first commute)
Options: Peak of the Peak, Parking, 10 trips/wk
Per Week Increase: $12.50
Per Year Increase: $650.00
Per Week Parking Increase: $2.50
Per Year Parking Increase: $130.00

Total Yearly Increase: $780.00

Continue reading →

Adventures, Crime & Punishment, Life in the Capital, News, People, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Stolen Segway On The Loose

Photo courtesy of
‘Quio #19 (48/365)’
courtesy of ‘Chris Rief aka Spodie Odie’

Coming out of today’s Ward 2 Watch Commander’s Crime Update, it appears we’ve got a hot Segway on the loose in the streets of DC.  The report states that the victim was “watching a basketball game, left their Segway unsecured in the rear of the location during which time an unknown suspect(s) stole it.” The theft occurred late Wednesday night along the 2000 blk. of G St., N.W.

Really guy? You left your Segway out back with the keys in the ignition? Dumbass. But as much as I despise people cruising the streets on these horrid vehicles–just walk for f*#k’s sake you lazy piece of poop!–I despise thievery even more. So for those .0003 of you who have a Segway, be sure to lock. it. up.

The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Sheldon Cooper Lives in DC, Needs Roommate

Photo courtesy of
‘Sheldon Cooper – Mad Man’
courtesy of ‘techfun’

A friend of mine sent me this delightful Craigslist ad from last night, which offers a room in a Capitol Hill apartment that is roomy (12’x14′) for just $850. It sounds like the guy is pretty normal, he’s a researcher for DOD, loves kickball and going out, and hiking and biking and other outdoorsy activities. There’s just one catch…

One more thing, please read this so we don’t waste each others’ time! On our bathroom door is a checklist. I like to keep a record of my bowel movements and I expect you to do the same. It’s a just a simple checklist with each day of the month, simply place a check on the day if you have a bowel movement. It’s no big deal and you needn’t worry about replacing the list, I’ll take care of everything. Hope to hear from you!

I am so relieved to hear that Sheldon Cooper, noted theoretical physicist, is living in my town!

News, Talkin' Transit, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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16th Street Near Scottish Rite Temple Closed

Photo courtesy of
‘House of the Temple’
courtesy of ‘NCinDC’

16th Street between S & R is currently shut down for police investigation of a second suspicious package there this morning. I’m not sure why you’d want to blow up the Masons, really, unless you’re deep into conspiracies…oh. I see. Well.

Buses are being stopped (including all of the S buses that run down 16th Street) around the area, and you should probably steer clear from there for now. From what I understand, buses were being offloaded and checked for suspicious packages by MPD in the area, as well.

Technology, The Daily Feed, We Green DC, WTF?!
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Turn Old Jeans Into Insulation for Habitat

Photo courtesy of
‘levis rivet bw’
courtesy of ‘christaki’

Our friend Erin from Unclutterer pointed out this excellent campaign from MoCo Professional Organizer Scott Roewer to collect a bunch of blue jeans. Got a pair of well-loved, but in need of retirement blue jeans? Donate them to Scott, who will turn them into awesome insulation for a Habitat for Humanity house. He’s already collected over 300 pairs, but he needs to get to 500 in order to have enough insulation for a single Habitat home.

If you can help, leave Scott a comment with your contact information and he’ll direct you to how to send him your jeans! Me, I’ve got two pairs that can probably go off to be insulation…Scott, drop me a comment here?

News, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Pop Warner Team’s Offices, Possessions Ransacked

Photo courtesy of
’01 st kilda’
courtesy of ‘Looking Glass’

How depraved do you have to be to go into the offices of a Pop Warner Football team, steal all the uniforms, wreck their trophy case and spray paint the trophies, steal the uniforms, and then destroy their van?  That’s what happened to the Benning Terrace Soldiers’ youth football program over the weekend. Their offices ransacked, their uniforms stolen, their gear taken, and their TV painted over.

We’ve asked Department of Parks & Rec how we can help with the cleanup or with replacing their uniforms, when we know, we’ll share that information.  This is a pretty awful situation, with no clear motive and no clear suspects.  How much of a toolshed and a coward do you have to be to pick on a kids football team?

The Daily Feed, The Mall, WTF?!
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Truck Crashes into Hirshhorn

We’ve gotten word that a delivery truck has crashed into the Hirshhorn. Driver sustained serious injuries, but not life-threatening. Minor damage to the building; the truck broke through flower pot barriers and hit a window at the entrance, shattering it.

Update from DC Fire/EMS Twitter: update – loaded UPS truck crashed into front entrance of Hirshorn – driver pri 2 – serious – perimeter expanded – expect some traffic closur

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