Category Archives: WTF?!

Foggy Bottom, The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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Foggy Bottom Metro Escalator Alert

It never ends. It only gets lulzier! We are in receipt of the following alert from alert.ema.dc.gov: Transportation Incident. Disruption at Foggy Bottom-GWU. (All of the station’s entrance escalators are out of service due to mechanical difficulties. Shuttle bus service has been established. The station’s elevator is operational, the station remains open).

We already knew all the escalators were out but if only one is open (not clear from the alert) then that means a possible line outside the station at rush hour like we had on Monday. Click through the jump to see a map of alternative ways home if you want to skip the shuttle bus.

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Talkin' Transit, Technology, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Smart Bike Thief Thwarted

washington dc by wayan
Photo by Wayan

Apparently, the first thieves have tried to get their hands on a SmartBike. It was a complete failure, according to WTOP:

Someone tried to steal a SmartBike from the rack at the Shaw SmartBike location over the weekend, D.C. Department of Transportation spokesperson Karyn LeBlanc says.

“The person came and took the back tire and lifted it – physically lifted it over the rack – in hopes that it would snap the lock,” LeBlanc says.

The rack proved too mighty for this thief, however, and the bike did not come off the rack. SmartBikes are secured into racks by steel locks.

You’re going to have to try harder than that to get one of the SmartBikes…

Alexandria, News, Talkin' Transit, The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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“I wasn’t expecting to come home to a bus in my apartment.”

A Metrobus crashed into an Alexandria apartment last night. No one was injured as the resident wasn’t home and the driver had just offloaded his passengers due to a door problem — just before the bus started rolling away — but both apartment and bus appear to have been totalled. WJLA has more, and here’s some video of the scene from Associated Press:

Music, The District, WTF?!
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Muxtape, The RIAA and Pandora


Untitled by erin m

So, you might be a fan of Brittany’s awesome District Mixtape series of columns that we’ve been putting up. The idea is an age-old one, written about by novelists, charted by all the pop-trend-watchers, and beloved by anyone old than about 25 and younger than about 50. The age of the cassette tape mix was a golden one for music. 60 minutes of space, two cassette decks, a steady trigger finger, and a lot of love. If you want an excellent read about this stuff, grab Love is a Mixtape.

So, it’s with no small amount of sadness that this is what I saw this morning when I went to listen to Brittany’s latest concoction:

muxtapefail.png

The RIAA shut them down. Probably for something like the Royalty Problem that is also potentially about to shutter Pandora. So, I’m a bit bummed today. We’ve (temporarily) lost a great tool for publishing our feature, (don’t worry, we’ll figure out how to get around it somehow.) but it seems doubly unfortunate that they went after this one.
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Foggy Bottom, Talkin' Transit, The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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Foggy Bottom Metro Escalator Mess: AGAIN

Foggy Bottom Metro escalators have done it again, this time at the height of the Friday afternoon rush, and I have once again gotten video of the mess:

Last time this happened, only one escalator was barricaded, so desperate riders could at least scamper up the opposing escalator. Today, two were blocked, so only one shut-down escalator was available to serve as narrow stairs for both ascending and descending foot traffic. The result: crowds above and below. Epic fail once more.

Metro police and station personnel were on hand to do what little they could, but that didn’t seem to do much to thin the mass of people. And, as before — after taking this video, I didn’t bother waiting in line; it was faster to just walk the two blocks to Farragut West Station.

This is pretty bad, WMATA. Why have escalators at all if your contractors can’t even maintain them?

Crime & Punishment, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Will There Be Charges?

The Bay Bridge accident this weekend that sent a semi into the Chesapeake and has wrought havoc on the pair of spans, claimed one life and put three others in the hospital, seems to be the fault of a driver who fell asleep at the wheel. Candy Baldwin has admitted that that she fell asleep at the wheel early in the morning, and witnesses saw a car matching the description of her Camaro cross over center into the path of the truck that later plummeted into the Chesapeake.

Will there be charges for Ms. Baldwin? I dunno. Probably should be, for the death of the trucker who wasn’t able to maneuver his rig out of the way of her sleepy driving, probably for the cost of the police response, probably for the cost of keeping the bridge down to one span for the duration of the repair.

But will there be? No one’s said.

Crime & Punishment, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Berwyn Heights Mayor (almost) Exonerated

So, the SWAT team broke down his door, shot his dogs, tied his family up, and it turns out it was all a giant mistake. Turns out, the Police were also missing the right kind of warrant for a no-knock execution of the search, which compounds the frustration. Two area men were arrested as part of a bizarre weed shipping ring, and over $1M in weed was confiscated by the PG County Police. While PG County Police Chief Melvin High won’t rule out the involvement of Mayor Calvo, we’ve promised we won’t rule out laughing hysterically at his name being associated with a pot scandal.

Talkin' Transit, The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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iMetro: The Three C’s

“Couth, courtesy, and common sense” — iMetro’s three personal values whose deficiency makes Metro that much more unpleasant to ride. (Strictly speaking, though, “couth” is more adjective than noun, generally used as ironic foil to “uncouth.”) He follows up with a few photos demonstrating said unpleasantness. I’m especially WTF-ing at the jacket on the other side of the tracks and the rocks on the glass canopy. And next time I see someone doing chin-ups on the overhead bars I might just pull down his pants. Or at least tut-tut sternly.

More fun Metro ranting at WTFMetro.

News, The Daily Feed, The Great Outdoors, WTF?!
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It’s Not a Cougar

Savannah

Via DCist we have a Washington Post report that last week’s UMD “cougar” may actually have been a large Savannah (serval/domestic feline hybrid). So I guess all you people who couldn’t resist making cougar jokes last week all feel pretty silly now. Me, I’ll settle for saying the title of this post with an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.

(Flickr photo of a yawning Savannah Cat courtesy drlisa)

Arlington, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Four Mile Run Stream Full of Shit Again

Another sewage spill into Four Mile Run Stream. This seems to happen every few months. What the heck is going on and why can’t Arlington’s seem to fix the real problem here?

From Arlington County Alert:

A sewage spill into Four Mile Run Stream near Westover Park is affecting waters and parks all the way to the Potomac. Residents are advised not to fish in or have any contact with the waters – including wading or swimming – until further notice.

So it’s not even safe to swim or wade in shitty water? Thanks, Arlington County, for telling me not to wade into sewage but not fixing a repeat problem.

Business and Money, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Write a Limerick, Win a Diamond…

From the guys over at the Mervis Diamonds Blog, you can now win a diamond for writing a limerick:

Tell us your stories of love, dating, and diamonds in the District and you can win a diamond pendant! Did you meet your true love under the cherry blossoms? Did she say yes right after a spending bill passed? Was the ring presented at Ben’s on a half-smoke with everything?

The best limerick wins a $500 diamond pendant! The winning entry will be funny, clever, romantic and include the flavor of DC.

May I humbly present my entry?

There once was a fella named Mervis
Who hocks the stones most imperv’ous
He sold me a rock
and a ring from his stock
and now we’re engag’d and pretty nervous!

Not bad for a first attempt, I guess. Okay, yeah it sucks. Sorry.

All Politics is Local, Crime & Punishment, The Daily Feed, The Hill, WTF?!
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Uncle Ted Pleads Not Guilty

Senator “Uncle” Ted Stevens has plead not guilty to charges of taking bribes. Of course, this has Alaska all nervous as he’s been great for funding Alaska’s economy, but perhaps bad for the Internet (it’s a series of Tubes. Not a truck.) and now he’s facing serious corruption charges.

I hate to see members of our government, and guests in our town, flaunt so badly the laws that govern the ethics of the body. Oh well, right?

Crime & Punishment, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Fire Destroys Six Flags’ Haunted House

hauntedhousefire2.jpg
Image from Prince George’s County Fire/EMS Department

A major fire at the Largo, MD Six Flags amusement park destroyed their haunted house building last night. As the Haunted House attraction is only open in October, no one was inside, and no one was injured as the building burned.

I’m waiting for someone to point at Dan Snyder, as he owns the floundering Six Flags franchise, as having a role in the fire. Conspiracy Theorists in 3..2..1..

Talkin' Transit, The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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WMATA’s Having a Rough July

metrofail.png

The overturned vehicle we mentioned this afternoon on I-395 in DC? Yeah, it was a WMATA van, transporting disabled passengers. They’re having a bad month over there at Metro, what with the Escalator issues, a Multi-failure Day, a busted Yellow line, and many other issues we’ve all talked about here.

I wonder, is there any place we should send our condolences for their rough month? What exactly do you get that friend that somehow manages to screw up every part of their core competency in just a few weeks?