Category Archives: WTF?!

Adams Morgan, Alexandria, Arlington, Dupont Circle, Essential DC, Life in the Capital, Penn Quarter, Petworth, The Features, WTF?!
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Surviving the Next Snowpocalypse

Photo courtesy of
‘South Smithsonian Escalators’
courtesy of ‘william couch’

The DC area, this weekend, was something of a post-apocalyptic landscape. Driving down 395 on Saturday, one would have seen abandoned cars spun out at odd angles and their stranded drivers trudging towards some nameless help. Most residents stayed holed up in their homes, living off of the provisions they had dutifully stocked the day before. Basic commodities were impossible to come by and the majority of services simply shut down. As the snow storm abated, DC residents peered from their homes at the changed landscape, and painstakingly began the cleanup, trying to return to normality.

Ok, sure, that is a bit of an over-dramatization, but seriously, 395 did look like something out of 28 Days Later.  This snow, like any snow, threw into sharp relief how woefully unprepared DC area citizens are for wintry weather. So, as a northerner, I take it upon myself to save you all from yourselves before the next snowpocalypse.

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History, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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The History of Bullets and Snow Balls

Photo courtesy of
‘IMG_2384’
courtesy of ‘AJ Ashton’

By now, pretty much everyone in DC knows about the cop that brought a gun to a snow ball fight. Before casting aspersions, it should be noted that there is historical precedence for gun fire being exchanged during snowball fights.  In 1770, the famous Boston Massacre was sparked, in part, by snowballs thrown at the British by angry Bostonians.  Fortunately, this weekend didn’t bear the same political tension as late 18th century Massachusetts, but it’s still an interesting coincidence.  Police forces don’t take kindly to snow balls.

The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Bad Driver – No Dessert for You

bad driver

I saw this truck parked in the garage at Ballston last night. Yes, you caught me – I was buying last-minute gifts for my loved ones and for my We Love DC secret Santa person. (Katie, you are totes going to love what I got you!) Actually, it was the beginning of my shopping spree, but that’s beside the point.

Can you imagine being enough of a dick as to drive like this, with half the windshield obstructed? Well, I am here to tell you that some people really are that stupid. I know there’s got to be at least one of our readers that does this sort of thing – clearing a small space at the front of the windshield and hoping nobody else is coming down the road. Probably the same people who do not stop at stop signs. So can someone shed light into this type of laziness? Why not clear the whole car of snow?

The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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WMATA to Stay Underground-Only In the Morning

Photo courtesy of
‘The Metro in winter’
courtesy of ‘afagen’

WMATA has announced they will not restart bus service or above-ground rail first thing in the morning, and will likely not resume service right away. There are a lot of factors at play here, including temperature and speed of plowing, but if I were a betting man, I’d say Bus service back on track by noon, and rail by 3pm. But, that’s entirely up to the good folks at Metro, so watch for more updates as they happen.

Food and Drink, Life in the Capital, News, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Why Milk and Bread?

Photo courtesy of
‘Harris Teeter bread isle’
courtesy of ‘wfyurasko’

We’ve been reporting since yesterday that, in light of the storm, stores have been running out of “essentials” like milk and bread. Now, I’m not from DC originally, I’m from Maine, but I’ve lived in the south for most of my life. It’s always perplexed me that citizens of non-snow prone states, at the first whispers of a substantial storm, immediately flock to their local grocery and buy up all the milk and bread. Why milk and bread? Why would you need more milk and challah buns during a snow storm than you would on any other day? Up north, people stock up on salt and snow shovels, and make sure they’ve got enough of the food they’d normally eat to last for a day or two. Can a southern reader please explain to me to logic behind the milk and bread craze?

News, The District, The Features, WMATA, WTF?!
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Metro Closes Above Ground Service at 1pm

alertmap_w_legend.gif

Metro has just announced that they will discontinue above-ground rail service at 1pm today, until the snow has stopped. That will close 39 stations until the snowfall has been managed.

In addition: Metrobus and Metro Access will stop running at 1:30pm.

The reason for the closures at 8″ of snow is that if the third-rail is covered, it can no longer transmit the necessary running power for the trains, meaning you could get stranded by the snow. Once they’ve cleared up the snow, they’ll return to normal service, but I’d expect that to be tomorrow at the very earliest. You can read more about Metro’s snow policies on their site.

Steven Taubenkibel of Metro has just said that road conditions are far too treacherous to continue service. For the remainder of the day, they’ll run empty deicer trains on the above-ground tracks, so you may still see trains on the tracks, but there will be no service there. They are emphasizing safety, asking people to stay off the roads so they can be cleared for service.

Business and Money, News, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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DC Area’s Most Expensive Toll Road…

Photo courtesy of
”
courtesy of ‘Chris Rief aka Spodie Odie’

…will be the Intercounty Connector in PG and Montgomery counties.  The ICC, which will be completed next year, is scheduled to levy a $6.15 toll, each way. That amounts to around $0.35/mile, shattering the standing area record at $0.28/mile, held by the Dulles Greenway.  According to MTA, the exorbitant fee is necessary to cover road maintenance and construction costs.  If it makes you feel any better, the ICC will not be the most expensive road in the nation.  That distinction is held by SR-91 is California, which charges nearly $1/mile.

Food and Drink, Fun & Games, People, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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To “the tall brunette with the near perfect body…”

Photo courtesy of
‘DSC_1573’
courtesy of ‘euthman’

I’m not going to say much about this because my mother reads this blog, but “even if you are a liar and fart like a Clydesdale, I’d love to meet up,” has to be the greatest pickup line of all time.  Tall brunette in Rockville, you’re on notice.  Maybe it’s time to start carrying a small dog to blame, or something.

News, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Metro Management Shakeup Coming?

Photo courtesy of
‘Unknown Trains to Mysteryville’
courtesy of ‘Kevin H.’

Some good news out of the Post this morning: Metro’s going to shakeup their management. It’s from Jim Graham himself that the word comes to the Post, so there’s a solid chance that it’s happening, but it’s not clear what a reorganized Metro would look like. It’s suspected that John Catoe will survive the maneuvers, which I think is a tremendous mistake.

Reorganizing Metro with Catoe at the helm is a classic example of rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic.

The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Happy Birthday Mr. Mayor

Photo courtesy of
‘No Shelter for Fenty’
courtesy of ‘spiggycat’

What if you threw a birthday party, and everyone came? I mean, they weren’t invited, and they brought protest signs & megaphones, but they came and hung out outside? That’s exactly what happened this weekend at the Mayor’s Birthday Party/Mayoral Fundraiser. A coalition of local Anti-Fenty protestors hung outside the Mayor’s Birthday Party and lead protest chants and waved signs. The coalition was largely represented by the union that represents City Government workers and the taxi unions, two groups of people who are likely least happy with the Mayor.

Here’s my problem. You don’t protest the man’s birthday. Seriously. Would you like it people stood outside your birthday and told people how much you sucked? Your birthday is one of those sacrosanct days. Want to protest the mayor’s office every day of the week and twice on Sunday? Sure, go right for it. But take the birthday off. This was chintzy and tacky and just the sort of bullshit that makes me think that maybe he’s doing a better job than the polls let on.

News, The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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Metro: People Are Actually Using Their Farecards!

Photo courtesy of
‘Farecard’
courtesy of ‘orphum’

This should shock precisely no one, but WMATA is expressing some concern that riders are actually using their farecards until they’re empty. WMATA was hoping to use the $11M in unused fare-dollars for other budgetary purposes next year, but the rise in SmarTrip card usage (upwards of 70% on rail and 60% bus, now!), and the recession that has people keeping their farecards and reloading them, even when they have less than a fare on them. Metro had been tapping up to 5% of fares as a slush fund of sorts useful for paying small deficits, but with fewer farecards in use, their accountants are recommending only 3% of fares be used in that manner.

There are internal proposals at Metro to raise fares up to 15% to cover the budget gap.

News, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Cocaine Smuggled Inside A Chicken at Dulles

Photo courtesy of
”
courtesy of ‘Chris Rief aka Spodie Odie’

Drugs get smuggled in and out of this country just as often as teeny boppers buy Jonas Brothers records. So why did Wagner Mauricio Linares Aragon, 32 of Guatemala, think it was a good idea to smuggle close to $4,3000 worth of cocaine inside of a carry-out chicken at Dulles International Airport? My best guess is that it hasn’t been done before (as far as federal/local authorities know).

Aragon was found carrying 2.3 ounces of cocaine inside his carry-on chicken during a second inspection by Customs and Border Protection early Sunday morning according to officials.

“Officers have seen many unique narcotics concealment methods, and they all present the same challenges to discover them,” Christopher Hess, director of the agency’s Port of Washington, told the Washington Times.

Aragon and his smuggled stash was turned into the Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority. So a word to the wise — don’t smuggle your illegal narcotics inside a cooked chicken. You WILL get caught.

The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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Metro’s Budget Disaster, Fare Hikes Possible

Photo courtesy of
‘Empty Metro Car’
courtesy of ‘Mr. T in DC’

$175 million. That is the current projected budget gap for Metro for the fiscal year. That is a gap some $30m larger than what was predicted just three months ago and you may be paying the difference. WaPo wrote today that Metro’s managers recommended this morning that up to $92 million of that gap be made up through fare hikes. That would require a full 25 cent increase on each fare, bus and rail, to cover 50% of the total shortfall. But why is Metro even worse off than expected?

Well revenues are down, of course. Way down. But why?

Officials said the main reason for the growing gap is the bad economy, which has meant fewer riders and less revenue.

Friends, you and I and everyone in between know that the economy, however recessed it might be, is NOT the reason Metro’s revenues are falling like crazy. Job loss is not why ridership is far below estimates. Does anyone even remotely believe this? Of course the economy has hurt every business, and Metro has to be run like a business (sort of). But COME ON WMATA. Walk up to a mirror and the answer to your falling revenue will look you right straight in the face.

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News, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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BREAKING: Fire Bombs in NW DC

twitpic
Photo by Allen Combs

A reader and WUSA 9 report that a man threw Molotov cocktails into the intersection at 17th and K St..  He was apparently holding a sign that said “Justice” on top of a van with “Not my $200 Million” emblazoned on the side.  It is not clear exactly what he was protesting.  Police arrived on the scene quickly and took the man into custody.  At this point, it appears that no one was hurt, although traffic is stopped at the intersection in question.  We’ll get back to you with more details as they become available.

Update 3:05: DC Fire and EMS Twitter reports a suspicious package in the van.

Update 3:08: Live video feed of 17th and K St. intersection.

Update 3:13:  One of the entrances to Farragut North is closed due to the incident.

Update 3:20: Officers seem to be moving around the van without much trepidation.  The suspicious package appears to have been a false alarm.

Update 3:27: Van driven away by police.  It appears as though the incident is wrapping up.  Can any readers on the scene confirm the Molotov cocktails?

Update 3:50: Intersection is reported to be clear.  Just in time for it to get gridlocked by Maryland drivers during rush hour!

Update 4:00: Several witnesses (thanks Sean!) report that there weren’t actually any Molotov cocktails, after all.  WUSA 9 still reports that 3 were thrown.

The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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Yeah, Thanks, We Knew Already

Photo courtesy of
‘”You Are Too Stupid”‘
courtesy of ‘swilkes’

In case you were wondering, WMATA is officially delaying the January SmartBenefits program until 2011. Oh, wait, you already knew that? Really? When did you find out…wait, last week, you say? When GM John Catoe, Jr. announced it at a small budget forum? Or was it from GGW, us, WJLA, the Examiner, or WaPo?

Oh, right. How silly of me. In Metro’s world, it’s not “official” until they put it out as a press release. Well, wait no longer. You’ll note that despite what Catoe and others said last week, this release only says that Metro has delayed the change and the program “will remain as is until further notice.” Which, in Metro’s little world, could be as early as oh, say, tomorrow. So despite what some officials said last week, the program may well not be on hold for all that long – or it could be promised in February. Nice way to help non-federal businesses figure out what the hell to do, that.

You know, I was waiting for this release with great anticipation, ever since we found out in such a half-assed, roundabout manner last week but had no official press announcement on something so huge that affects many commuters in the area. I had high expectations this press release would be a masterpiece of media savvy, an epic piece of public relations literature that would be a shining example to companies worldwide on how to execute the perfect informational piece. With lots of detail, charts and quotes. Because they were taking a long time to craft such a simple message.

Clearly, I had the bar set too high. WMATA? Your communications policies continue to be EPIC FAIL.

News, Special Events, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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“DJ Zimm” To Host DeAngelo Hall’s Birthday Party? Yeah, That’s Happening.

Photo courtesy of
‘Ryan Zimmerman 3’
courtesy of ‘afagen’

Attention all DC sports fans — Ryan Zimmerman is officially the coolest Washington National. Why? He’s hosting/MC-ing Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall’s birthday party at the Shadowroom.

How did this pairing come about? No one’s sure at this point. What we do know is that it’s happening.

An anonymous source for the National Enquirer said Zimmerman might be “doing magic tricks and making balloon animals for the kids,” but really … who in the heck made the final decision in naming the Golden Glover/Silver Slugger/All-Star the host of a party?

I mean, COME ON folks! We’ve all seen his interviews. Can he play ball? Yes siree. But can he host a party? I guess we’ll find that answer sooner than we thought.

The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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Metro Delays SmartBenefits Changes

Photo courtesy of
‘I Hate You, Metro’
courtesy of ‘marciadc’

David Alpert over at GGW has the scoop – after much “discussion,” WMATA will be delaying the SmartBenefits changes until 2011. All that stuff about purses and changes? Yeah, not happening now for another 13 months.

GM John Catoe, Jr., “master communicator extraordinaire,” announced the decision last night at the Prince George’s budget forum. He mentioned that WMATA had made the decision on Tuesday…wait – what day is today?

Um, yeah. THANKS FOR TELLING US, METRO. As of right now, I’m still not seeing any official press release regarding the decision. With employers and employees needing to make some hard decisions this month regarding their Metro benefits, don’t you think it would make sense to let them know ASAP?

Update from GGW: “According to another attendee at that meeting, Catoe also said that Metro got permission from the IRS to keep unused SmartBenefits in the employee’s ‘purse’ instead of refunding it to employers.”

Good thing Metro has us bloggers to keep an eye out. We should be given seats on a Metro oversight board. Hey, Jim Graham – make it happen!

Business and Money, Entertainment, Fun & Games, The Daily Feed, WTF?!
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Ripping Off Childhood Favorites

hungryhipposripoff

Recently I’ve been spending a little too much time at my local CVS. Whether I’m filling an Rx, stocking up on 2 for 1 cans of chicken noodle soup or buying toilet paper, I could spend hours roaming the aisles looking at all the “As Seen On TV” offerings and discounted holiday supplies.

However, like the way too early holiday displays, I saw an item there that really busted my buttons. A ripoff of the dearly beloved, totally skillless, Hasbro children’s game Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

WTF! Is nothing sacred anymore? In the ripoff, titled Hungry Dog, the pups don’t have that marble crazy look in their eyes like the hippos.  And the very name of the game with only one “hungry” gives their sub-par dedication to manic marble chomping away.

So my advice to parents is don’t deprive your kids of the real-deal when it comes to classic kids games.  Spend the extra $2 bucks and buy the original.

The Daily Feed, WMATA, WTF?!
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And Now, A Metro Shower Curtain

DC-Hires.jpg

How much do you love Metro? Sure, you have every commemorative farecard, you’ve got both the Nationals SmarTrip AND the Barack Obama SmarTrip card. You even dressed up like a Metro pylon for Halloween. But, do you have the shower curtain yet? No shower is complete without the Metro Shower Curtain. It’s an easy $30 gift for that friend of yours that you once caught looking a little too intently and longingly at the station manager at Chinatown/Gallery Pl.

We’ve worked out a giveaway with the manufacturer, Izola Shower Curtains. Enter a comment, and include your email address in the form, and we’ll pick a winner at noon tomorrow.

News, The Daily Feed, The District, WTF?!
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We’re Number 1!

Photo courtesy of
‘Cabbages and Condoms’
courtesy of ‘wharman’

I shouldn’t have to write this. I really shouldn’t. Folks, if you’re not grown up enough to cover your willie when you go to have sex, maybe you shouldn’t be at home with the Astroglide, okay? The CDC has released a study that shows that DC is #1 for per capita syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia infection. I’m gonna let that sink in for a second.

You’re three times as likely to get gonorrhea in DC than you are in VA or MD. That’s outrageous. That number goes up even higher for the other diseases. So really, folks, if you’re having sex and you don’t know the other person’s status (or, if you for any reason don’t trust it) then please for the love of god use a condom? This is just embarrassing.

Usual disclaimers about DC being an entirely urban “state” for demographics purposes, and I don’t believe the CDC breaks it out by metropolitan areas, where, I hope, Baltimore still has us beat.