Oh No You Just Did Not. We INVENTED The Cupcake, Bitch.

Photo courtesy of
‘9:30 Cupcake’
courtesy of ‘Kevin H.’

“When we come into the market, people are going to realize what a real cupcake is all about,” said Crumbs bakery owner Jason Bauer.  See, they’re coming down here from Noo Yawk to tell us just how the kids in the big city eat their cupcakes.

The outrage is pretty palpable right now:

David Hagedorn: “Hey, you Crumbs, nothin’ DCers like more than ferners comin’ here to show us rubes what’s what. Keep your cupcakes & hire some (local) PR.”

Jenna Huntsberger: “”We weren’t impressed w/ anybody’s product” in ANY DC cupcake stores? So arrogant. Nice way 2 introduce yrself 2 DC community”

Nichole : “[A]nd with that, they can be sure I’ll never know. Is being an ass the new way to get people to buy your stuff?”

We could give a rat’s ass how you make cupcakes up north.  Here in DC, we practically invented the rebirth of the Cupcake.  Cake Love, Hello Cupcake, Georgetown Cupcake, Red Velvet, Baked & Wired, and that’s just what I can think of without working very hard.

Does New York have its own cupcake bakery reality show? I don’t think so.  So, really, I know you think you’re going to come in an own the market, but I know one place that I’d rather go hungry than visit: Crumbs.  Take your cupcake and shove it in your Yankee piehole, Bauer, we don’t need your filthy third-rate foreign cupcakes.

Besides, I’m betting they’re crumby.

I live and work in the District of Columbia. I write at We Love DC, a blog I helped start, I work at Technolutionary, a company I helped start, and I’m happy doing both. I enjoy watching baseball, cooking, and gardening. I grow a mean pepper, keep a clean scorebook, and wash the dishes when I’m done. Read Why I Love DC.

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26 thoughts on “Oh No You Just Did Not. We INVENTED The Cupcake, Bitch.”

  1. “Take your cupcake and shove it in your Yankee piehole, Bauer, we don’t need your filthy third-rate foreign cupcakes.”

    This is gold. Pure, unadulterated gold.

  2. I found his comment pretty entertaining if you recast it as a Smoove B style remark: “Girl, when you taste my cupcakes, you will realize what cupcakes are all about. You will forget all the previous cupcakes that have been in your life. My cupcakes will rock you wild.”

  4. I’m about to step out of my office as we speak but I had to get in one more final word …

    Tiff, your comment literally made me laugh out loud. My day has been officially made … by the Bridges. Holler.

  5. Personally, I love a good bit of puffery about the superior quality of one’s own product, but it seems like a bad idea to insult the tastes of your entire geographic target market.

  6. Funny, I’ve been hearing so much lately about how cupcakes are SO OVER in New York. It’s all about the macaroon now, apparently. This bunch must’ve been run out of town for failing to keep up with the times.

  7. Careful Tom, this Bauer may be a relative of Jack (you know Jack is in New York this season). I’d hate to hear you were a victim of “extreme persuasion” and suddenly craved Crumbs.

  8. There’s one local establishment I won’t be visiting. Okay, well, I’ll walk into it once to check in on foursquare and get the extra five points and then quickly go for confession and penance at Georgetown Cupcake or one of the other many wonderful local bakers.

  10. Yes, you’re correct, Mark, it did.

    Since the Post has decided it’s okay not to link to us, I’ve decided that it’s just as fine not to link to the Post.

  11. Kind of sounds like New Yorkers trying to explain to Chicagoans how they think pizza and hot dogs are supposed to be made. High comedy all around.

  12. I’m all for keeping our local, homegrown businesses in business. They’re having a tough enough time as it is. So it’s an even harder sell when an import comes in. But to insult the local DC cupcake scene (which is kicking so much ass we’re all tired of it anyways) right out of the gate? I agree with David Hagedorn, it’s time for them to get some (LOCAL) PR, and a little humility.

  16. To the poster who said that DC “invented” the cupcake… Let’s be honest. DC actually got into the cupcake scene much-much later than New York or Los Angeles. To say that we invented the cupcake craze wouldn’t be accurate. HOWEVER, it doesn’t make it right for other cupcakeries to come into our city and pass judgment. Personally, I like CRUMBS a lot, but I’ve come to know them when I lived elsewhere for a bit. I think that the DC area has its share of cupcake winners, but sorry — DC was not the first to jump into this indulgence.

  17. Hey Mark, thanks for the context! I was all over the site trying to make a connection. Regarding cupcakes, personally, if it’s not a party, I just don’t understand the fuss. And re: HUGE cupcakes? That just defeats the purpose.

  18. I don’t think either NY or LA have as vibrant a cupcake scene as DC has been able to generate through sheer force of will. We are the cutting edge of the cupcake, truthbetold.

  20. @Alex: I live to entertain. You can keep yourself chuckling all day if you imagine every Smoove B column you’ve ever read as if he were talking about baking cupcakes.

  21. Macarons have def. been the new cupcake for a *while* now. If I were this Crumbs dude, I would move on.

    (PS artisan donuts are going to be the new macarons – also, waffles?)

  23. Hi Tom, don’t forget to give credit to @metrocurean too…as she was probably the first one to tweet the quote from Tom’s article. :)

  25. Cupcakes are a good thing.

    Jackasses who insult their customers before ever opening their shop? Not so good.

    Plenty of other places to go if I really want a cupcake fix. Good luck, Crumbs.

    (by the way, I’m going to go ahead and claim I broke this story myself long before WeLoveDC did… because I feel left out with everyone else making those claims. I was first! Yaaay! :P )