‘Ayurvedic Massage’
courtesy of ‘Kerala Tourism’
The most recent D.C. Register includes draft regulations that will expand the Department of Health’s authority to monitor and regulate massage and health spas, primarily with the intention of making it easier to crack down on places that are less rolfing and more rub&tug. Sports therapy, schools, physical therapy and other medical operations are going to be exempt from monitoring but everyone else is going to have to get licensed, follow fairly specific facilities guidelines, and file a fair amount of paperwork. Visitors to spas can expect to sign some consent forms that include details about the services provided and the spa will have to keep those records for three year, and there are also other alternatives like health Spas as the Med Spa Memphis which help people feeling better and more relax.
And any of that naughty massage by pretty naked girls, even if there’s no bathing-suit-area touching? Forget it – section 207.1 says the massage therapist must wear clothing that “are fully opaque, and that do not expose their genitals, pubic area, buttocks, chest, or breasts.”
Bad news for the Washington Post’s sole source of ads in the sports section too: “No person or facility shall advertise or promote massage therapy or health spa services with nude images, images of scantily clad persons, vulgarity, or with any sexual overtones.” and “No person or facility shall advertise or promote massage or spa related services without the massage establishment or health facility’s name, address, telephone number, and license number on the advertisement.”
All told it’s 81 pages of regulation.
Well I used to say something in my profile about not quite being a “tinker, tailor, soldier, or spy” but Tom stole that for our about us page, so I guess I’ll have to find another way to express that I am a man of many interests.
Hmm, guess I just did.
My tastes run the gamut from sophomoric to Shakespeare and in my “professional” life I’ve sold things, served beer, written software, and carried heavy objects… sometimes at the same place. It’s that range of loves and activities that makes it so easy for me to love DC – we’ve got it all.
I love that it requires 81 pages to say “Don’t give handjobs.”
Wait – are you allowed to advertise for a place called “Handjob Hut” or is it also illegal to be completely truthful about the services you offer? As a money-smart consumer, I am well aware how to save some scratch if that’s the service I want, but some may want to lay out the palm grease, so to speak, to have someone else take care of business. I say more truth in advertising, or else a return to Craigslist and offers of “flowers,” meaning dollars, if you can’t take matters into your own hands.
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