‘ARE YOU A JEROK?’
courtesy of ‘marc falardeau’

Too bad it’s not for the reason he thinks.

You probably already know the the story and both sides of it; it’s reiterated in every article about it, including this latest from WaPo about Haynesworth’s position that he won’t take a deal knocking the charge down to simple assault. I obviously have no more idea what really happened than anyone else who wasn’t there, though I know where I’d lay my bet.

But let’s be clear about one thing: when Haynesworth’s attorney A. Scott Bolden says “If he wasn’t Albert Haynesworth, this case would not have gone to the U.S. attorney’s office or the grand jury” he is exactly right.

It would have happened and been ignored just like the multitude of other times every single day when someone with power over a woman feels free to touch them against their consent. It would have been just one more incident of an employee in a service position having to stomach mistreatment because someone with power over them decided to ignore the lines of human decency and reasonable behavior in a situation where the employee couldn’t freely say “no.”

It would have been what far too many people would describe as “today.”

The most generous possible reading of this story is that this server was okay with Haynesworth digging around in her bra and fondling her while she stood there with an armload of dirty dishes. If you buy that the least sexy encounter you’ve ever heard of was entirely consensual at the time – and I think it’s obvious that I don’t – then Bolden’s statement still is true: Joe Average could have behaved in this crass manner, touching someone who isn’t free to tell him to back the fuck up because she’s at work and needs to eat shit she wouldn’t have to put up with anywhere else… and it would have just gone by like it does all the damned time. Joe Average could have behaved in a way that stood the very real chance of crossing someone’s boundaries and which they weren’t really free to refuse… and we’d never have heard about it.

So you’re right, Bolden – lots of non-famous people get away with behaving badly. That fame is the only thing that makes the incident stand out from all the ongoing groping or catcalling that is a part of daily life for so many women.

A shame neither you or you client recognize that the statement isn’t a defense, it’s a tragedy.

Don Whiteside

Well I used to say something in my profile about not quite being a “tinker, tailor, soldier, or spy” but Tom stole that for our about us page, so I guess I’ll have to find another way to express that I am a man of many interests.

Hmm, guess I just did.

My tastes run the gamut from sophomoric to Shakespeare and in my “professional” life I’ve sold things, served beer, written software, and carried heavy objects… sometimes at the same place. It’s that range of loves and activities that makes it so easy for me to love DC – we’ve got it all.