‘Hamilton’s Tap Dance’
courtesy of ‘A. L. Huber’

Food and drink challenges are fun; secret, off-menu food and drink challenges are even more fun. The Tap Dance Challenge at Hamilton’s Bar and Grill falls into the later category. The challenge itself is deceptively and enticingly simple: for $30 you have the opportunity to drink one pint of each of the ten beers than Hamilton’s has on tap (Magic Hat #9, Coors Light, Lienenkugel’s Sunset Wheat, Miller Lite, Yuengling, Samuel Adams Boston Lager, Smithwick’s, Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA, Samuel Adams Seasonal, Guinness Stout), in order and within three hours. The rules are also simple: no vomiting. If you violate this rule and don’t manage to deposit your bodily fluids in an appropriate receptacle, expect to pay an additional $20 cleaning charge. Win and you secure bragging rights and a stylish tshirt.

So, if you decide to attempt this challenge, here are a few pieces of advice. First, don’t attempt this challenge if you enjoy sobriety.  You will get drunk: the human body can only metabolize approximately .5oz of alcohol an hour (about the amount in one 12oz beer, 6oz wine, or 1.5oz shot) and this challenge involves drinking at more than three times that rate. Second, eat a fairly large, balanced meal several hours before you attempt the Tap Dance. A mix of carbohydrates and proteins in your system will help slow alcohol absorption. Third, bring a friend. It will be very helpful if you have a friend with you who is not participating in the challenge so that they can help you out if you need it later (thanks to my lovely girlfriend for putting up with me Saturday night!). Finally, don’t be a hero. Understand that this is a fairly daunting challenge, both in terms of alcohol and volume. If you or your friends think it’s time to throw in the towel, it probably is; sometimes, discretion is the better part of valor.

Addison Huber

Addison is a fourth generation Washingtonian, actually born and raised within city limits of DC. He currently resides in Arlington and works in DC as a government lackey. Addison can be reached at addison (at) welovedc.com