‘dolores park popsicle’
courtesy of ‘apasciuto’
Have you heard? It’s supposed to be really, really hot this weekend. And what’s the best way to deal with the pain of an unimaginable heat index? Frozen booze.

Lucky for us Washingtonians, we have plenty of options. At Cafe Saint-Ex, you can see if one of their Poptails will cool down your core body temp. Made with St. Germain, sparkling white wine and lemon simple syrup, it just might be refreshing enough to distract you from the humidity. Might. Right now they only have one flavor, but mixologist Jonathan Fain hopes to roll out more in the near future. Another restaurant in the popsicle game is Potenza, where you can sample three frozen treats based on some of their most popular cocktails. I’m most excited to try the Orvieto, made with fresh strawberries and balsamic syrup, lime, basil and vodka.

If you can’t stand the way popsicles melt all over your hands, head to Ted’s Bulletin for one of their milkshakes. Though they have the standard diner favorites, I steer your attention to the adult milkshakes. There’s the Tequila Sunrise, the Spiked Thai Coffee, and the White Russian to name a few. Another option is the Piragua at Cafe Atlantico, based off a Puerto Rican delicacy resembling a Sno-Cone and flavored with ingredients sourced weekly from the Penn Quarter farmers market. Recent flavors include gooseberry and Asian five spice and cherry orange blossom. And don’t forget about the slushitos available at the newly opened Estadio. It’s an alcoholic slushee, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

If you’re the designated driver this weekend, don’t worry, there are fancy teetotaling popsicles around town that will do the trick. The Mt. Pleasant Farmers Market has the distinct pleasure of housing Pleasant Pops–a bike cart featuring locally sourced, seasonal popsicles. This weekend they will feature watermelon-flavored pops from the watermelons harvested at Maryland’s Richfield Farms. Flavors such as watermelon and black pepper, cucumber chili and peaches and ginger will put the Good Humor man to shame. The Dairy Godmotherin Del Ray also offers a few special popsicles in their cold case. Look for treats made in flavors such as cantaloupe and mint, pineapple and peppercorn and hibiscus.

There may be no sure fire way to beat the heat this weekend, but frozen alcohol is definitely worth a try.

Ashley Messick

Ashley is a born and bred Washingtonian who left for college but came running back to the District as fast as her little legs could carry her. By day she is a Capitol Hill brat, but by night she is a lean, mean, eating machine. It’s her goal in life to steal Anthony Bourdain’s job…by whatever means necessary. Contact her at Ashley (at) welovedc (dot) com or follow her on Twitter.