‘claw’
courtesy of ‘volcanojw’

I can’t believe we are only five episodes in- it’s already felt like I’ve been watching this show FOREVER. Mostly because it’s been a couple of episodes since there’s been anything to be put the DC into Top Chef DC but hey I don’t want to disappoint those looking for my cutting-edge analysis so as long as they show airs, we’ll be here watching it- so you don’t have to!

The show opens with a scene setting up two “couples” within the group: Tamesha and Angelo along with Ed and Tiffany.

Tamesha is enjoying getting “mentor” help from one of the show’s strongest contestants and Angelo is attracted to Tamesha because he sees himself in her.

Excuse me for the sexual innuendo, I don’t honest think Angelo is attracted to Tamesha (who works in DC’s Oval Room,) in a sexual way- I think he used the word attracted because he’s so full of himself he’d be attracted with a self-reflection off a spoon.

Anyways it all results in a really awkward lean over to whisper some sweet nothings that he hopes isn’t picked up by the enormous boom mic above him.

Guys it’s reality TV- they are going to hear it.

Ed and Tiffany on the other hand are something else. When Ed says he enjoys Tiffany’s company I get that high school crush/reality showmance feeling. Nothing like having a conservation on the foot of her bed- it makes me wish Ed would just make a move so there’d be something interesting going on here besides cooking.

For the Quickfire challenge we are introduced to the episode’s guest judge: Patrick O’Connell, a James Beard (OMG that name again!) award winning  chef and founder of The Inn at Little Washington. We are also introduced to the challenge: CRABS!

Cue local contestant talking about knowing everything about the local Maryland Blue Crab? No not yet. First we need a clip of…

Angelo saying, “Well…I had crabs. So it just brought back bad memories.”

Thanks Angelo. TMI.

The chefs get to work, of course with Angelo and Kenny leading the way. Kenny decides to look even better than the rest by making three crab dishes while the rest struggle to make one.

Now cue Timothy Dean talking about how he knows crabs. Amanda describes Tim as, “a Maryland boy, so it’s like a religion where he’s from.” Timothy is certainly shelling those crabs at breakneck speed. Maybe he won’t get kicked off this week.

The top three consisted of Ed, Kenny, and Angelo with Kevin, Amanda, and Andrea bringing up the rear as the bottom three. Ed won over the judges with a Jumbo Lump Crab with Thai Basil, Mango & Cucumber Salad. Hmm an Asian leaning dish- watch out Angelo looks like you aren’t the only one that can cook Asian.

The Elimination challenge is a meal for the farmers of Ayrshire Farms, Virginia’s first totally certified organic and humane farm.

Finally let’s get out of the Hilton and out into the DC area. Of course when I say DC area I mean over an hour outside The District.

The catch with this challenge is that they wouldn’t know what ingredients would be available and all the contestants had to work together as a team to create one meal for the farmers.

Of course once the chefs returned home to plan out the challenge we realize there are too many cooks in the kitchen. Angelo and Kenny immediately start arguing in attempts to become the alpha male. I begin to hear the word fierce used so many times I start to think I’m watching Project Runway.

Eventually the chefs agree to revert back to partners they had in the last challenge. Ed is unhappy that he has to work with Alex again but luckily Ed has immunity. Ed would rather be with Tiffany because it’s clear he’s totally crushing on her.

On the farm the chefs have to cook outside using vegetables and meats from the farm. Tim looks immediately lost as he tries to figure out what to do with all the vegetables he’s hoarded. This isn’t a good sign for Tim, who we want to root for as the local candidate but has consistently been in the bottom of competitions.

Amongst the madness of cooking Angelo comments that his cooking of a duck is so good it’s like he’s making love to it. Well I hope he’s careful so he doesn’t get bird flu or something.

Kevin has to rethink his couscous when somebody knocks over his bowl of cauliflower onto the grass. He decides to use broccoli instead- a choice he considers risky but makes sense to me.

After toiling around for three hours the meal is finally served and the chefs return home, where we see that Kenny is not only one of the most talented cooks in the competition- but is also the biggest pimp. He saunters around with a fur robe & wine while his fellow contestants call him Big Daddy and Black Angus.

Time for the judges table. Kevin, Kenny, Andrea, and Kelly end up on the top and Kenny finally wins his first elimination challenge.

Timothy’s struggles finally reach an end and he is asked to pack up his knives- a decision we have seen coming for quite some time now. Unfortunately his troubles aren’t entirely over, the Washington Post recently reported that Dean is suing National Harbor, accusing them of reneging on a restaurant deal on the property.

I Know That Place!

Ayrshire Farms: Located in Upperville, Virginia; you can visit their website and order all sorts of socially conscious meats.

Around The Tweetosphere

via @blairdc

via @livitluvit

via @eangel427

Co-worker/Top Chef DC Fan Maggie Pitts:

Maggie: “Ok i have something say- I’m from Annapolis and this is how you win a crab challenge: CRAB DIP!”

And of course this ad runs during Top Chef DC which only gets me more riled up for some Real Housewives action…