Spice Girls Suck!!! Miley Rules by borderstan

As a full-blooded American who was born on the Fourth of July, whose favorite memory of playing soccer as a kid is eating orange slices after the match, I have to wonder what makes you die hard fútbol fans tick.

To you Brits from across the pond, you do realize that you’re standing in your lost land?  Sure, your ball kicking skills may be slightly superior (oh wait, it was a tie), but your inferior musket loading, cannon firing, and battlefield positioning skills are spread all over the pages of history books like beans on toast.  I’ll take my apple pie and Cherry Coke any day of the week over your bland food and high tea.  The only thing you have on us Amerikuns is that sophisticated accent of yours, and the women* who speak with it.

To my fellow Americans, please, let’s just give them this one small thing shall we?  Even though we were raised to believe that we’re superior to the rest of the world in every way, we don’t have to squash their hopes every chance we get do we?  Let them win this tiny, silly game.  Just remember the following facts.  We invented McDonald’s.  We’re home to the companies that build iPods and Windows 7.  We have spacious skies and amber waves of grain from sea to shining sea.  They have the Spice Girls, and the Spice Girls suck!

* Kate Beckinsale – call me!

Max Cook

Hailing from the Mile High City, Max has also lived in Tinsel Town, the Emerald City, as well as the City of Brotherly Love. Now a District resident, he likes to write about cool photos by local photographers, the DC restaurant and bar scene, or anything else that pops into his mind.