‘Untitled (Big Man)’
courtesy of ‘M.V. Jantzen’

The Arlington crime report is usually a pretty dry and uninteresting read. The usual mishmash of property crime, petty theft, some assault and maybe an indecent exposure or two. When it’s more interesting it’s usually sadly so – sexual assault or a shooting.

But once in a while, you get a gem like this one.

GRAND LARCENY AUTO, POSSESSION, ASSAULT ON POLICE-ARREST 11/16/09, 300 block of N. Kensington Street. On November 16 at 7:45 pm police responded for a suspicious person. The suspect was found in a stolen vehicle. The suspect was under the influence of narcotics and unclothed. He assaulted officers at the scene before being arrested. Duy Nguyen, 32, was charged with Grand Larceny of an Automobile, Driving Under the Influence of Drugs, Driving While Revoked, Indecent Exposure, Possession of a Controlled Substance, and Assault and Battery on Law Enforcement. He was held without bond.

It’s pretty easy to imbibe enough such that you can no longer make a sound judgment about whether you’ve had too much to drive – your judgment is impaired, after all. But here’s a tip: if you’re butt-ass naked and in the car you probably shouldn’t be driving.

Don Whiteside

Well I used to say something in my profile about not quite being a “tinker, tailor, soldier, or spy” but Tom stole that for our about us page, so I guess I’ll have to find another way to express that I am a man of many interests.

Hmm, guess I just did.

My tastes run the gamut from sophomoric to Shakespeare and in my “professional” life I’ve sold things, served beer, written software, and carried heavy objects… sometimes at the same place. It’s that range of loves and activities that makes it so easy for me to love DC – we’ve got it all.