City Desk’s E-List Roundup has this lovely Takoma piece on couching reports of crime and disturbance in positive-leaning terms, so as to continue encouraging gentrification.

We suggest that all muggings must now be referred to as “culture exchanges,” that all smash-and-grabs be described as “car-stereo recycling,” and that all missing-cat postings be labeled as “Free-Range Kitten Policy In Effect.”

Capital idea! Myself, I look forward to stimulating my neighborhood economy by passing along some spare change to the Nomadic Local Hospitality Agents!

Why don’t you check reports from your area and translate them to what they “really” say?

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs

Paulo Ordoveza

Roving Asian mendicant, can occasionally be seen wandering the streets of downtown Washington, muttering unintelligible gibberish to passers-by while pushing a “bag lady” shopping cart full of old blankets, American flags, soda cans, and healthy secondhand snacks from organic food shop dumpsters. Used to live in a cardboard box at 16th and K but the rent was too expensive.