I love the WashPost’s “Dating Lab” in the Sunday magazine. Every week they have some dating train wreck for us to gawk at.

Last week I noted they had a call out for crazed athletes like I:

LOOKING FOR SCHOLARLY TRIATHELETES — and other singles wishing to be set

While my supermodels would revolt if I applied, I tossed the suggestion to the DC Tri Club.

After questioning how the WashPost could misspell “triathlete” everyone warmed up to the challenge until Nicole broke down what it means to date a triathlete.

To quote a snippet of her enlightening post:

• “I am an active person.” Really means: Aside from my 40 hour job, and the 8 mandatory hours of sleep a night. 10 hours a week are devoted to me during the off-season and 20 during race season leaving us 4 hours.

  2 of which are spent inhaling food and you not talking to me, so lets make the best of the 2 hours we will spend together on average each day. If you are a licensed message therapist or doctor this would make the most optimal use of our time together. Nutritionist is also acceptable, but I probably already know just as much as you.

• “I enjoy sharing quiet moments together.” Really means: It’s taper time. Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am worried about my “A” race and can’t workout.
• “I enjoy relaxing soaks in the tub.” Really Means: I’m going to stop on the way home and buy two bags of ice, throw them in the tub with some water, and sit in this torture chamber for 30 minutes.

Now doesn’t that make the life of my supermodels sound all romantic and exciting? Yeah, that’s why I have so many who call me back after the first Saturday morning 8am Haines Point brick workout.

This post appeared in its original form at DC Metblogs